French Nazi Fraud

French Nazi Fraud!

Enter Celine, who you may remember from past posts, who was once lovingly referred to as my French Nazi, has been outed as an Fraud! You heard it here first ladies and gents. Heres how it went down.

About 3 weeks ago I was asked by my HR department how my French lessons were going. I replied honestly and candidly as I always do, that, well, my teacher isnt teaching me right.
"She wont let me write, and she tried to teach me 2 verb tenses, past and future in just one day! Who does that? Can she do that? I have rights don't I?"

I mean nevermind that every word in French has to be masculine or feminine and addressed as such. 'La Lait.'The Milk. If you say 'Le Lait' the French, the kind people that they are, will simply act as though they have no idea what youre talking about.
And not to mention that 'you' is upheld in both proper and familiar versions religiously,so dont think a Vous wont correct you if by mistake you call them a Tu. You'd think world war 3 or battle of the Bitches would break out!
And dont even get me started on the words that I can only pronounce when holding my nose tight with my head tilted upward!

Anyway, I expressed concern that I just simply wasnt learning at the rate I felt I should be. Maybe her teaching methods and my learning mechanisms just weren't aligned properly. Fine right?

Ok so heres what happens. Today I get a call from Celine's Boss. A lovely british woman, Sue, whom Id met before. Anyway, she calls and asks for a few minutes of my time.

"Of course Sue, Hi! Receiving English speaking phone calls these days is like receiving an unexpected gift in the Post! What can I do for you?"

"Well Deaahne, I wanted to talk to you about the Nazi (Ha!no she didnt really say that but how cool would it have been of she did?!) about Celine.Its come to my attention that you'd like to switch teachers? May I ask why?"

I explained the whole deal to her as I did to my HR Rep, but I was much more constructive with my criticism. Truth be told, I did kind of like Celine in a pitiful sort of way. When she wasnt telling (and laughing at) her own jokes that only she could laugh at, because well yes they were in French and beyond my understanding, I kinda liked the old bird and didnt necessarily want to bust her on my account.

"Well Im so sorry. And Deeahhne I must tell you, you arent the only one of her students to request a new teacher."

GASP! I know!

"Several of her students actually have made change requests as well. We feel that she may be better suited to class room teaching."

Huh? So she can confuse the masses instead of one at a time? This perplexed me, but hey Im not her Boss. I'd can her, but its hardly my place to make suggestions...

"So anyway, we are so sorry and hope these past few months with her weren't too trying on you and hope you dont let this sour your perspective for one on one teaching and learning French."
I hung up on Sue without another word and paraded through the office rejoicing... "The Nazi's a Fraud, the Nazi's a Fraud! WooHoo The Nazi's a Fraud!!"

Do you know what the odds are of having a French person apologize to you? Apologize to an American? People, today is a landmark day. Maybe March really is Diane Micheil Heritage Month?