January 28, 2008

IKEA

Yes, IKEA.

Quickly this went from being one of the greatest ideas I'd ever had to an adventure I needed to escape almost the second I sprinted through the door. (I was excited ok?)

So this all started with me promising Benoit 1 million dollars and dinner on me if he and Carine would drive me 20 minutes outside to Paris so I could pick up some cheap loot for my new apartment. I decided that this time Im gonna do my apartment right. I am in Paris afterall. So Ill get a few mandatory basics from IKEA and then decorate tastefully around them with exquisite French accoutrements and other expensive things to cover up the cheap ones from IKEA. Good plan right?

So the Panda agrees and he and Carine pick me up at 14h30 on Sunday afternoon. At this point Im beside myself with giddyness just to 1- be taking a car ride and 2- being able to see if France offers the same sort of IKEA ghetto-ness that Emeryville does.
*(Hint-Im still not sure, but be on the lookout for my "FrEbonics" entry that is coming soon. This is French Ebonics and Im pretty sure Im onto something with it)

Anyway, I believe this day can best be summed up not with Haiku, but with an outline of actual highlights and also special details perhaps Id forgotten prior to conjuring up this adventure. In no particular order...
Here we go:

-The majority of people in this store were going to be French
-I'm going to be outside Paris at what Im told is the Biggest IKEA store in France
-Im not French, nor am I Swedish. Thinking I shouldve brought my Swedish friend Michaela who... oh nevermind she is German.

-Its Sunday
-The Sunday theory: Everything else is closed, why not take the entire Family to IKEA?
-Babies/children/ tag/ hide and go seek/running/ crying and whining/reminder of if I ever want to conceive children. Ever.

-arrows pointing to your future direction within the store
-no one paying attention to the arrows showing future direction within the store (myself included)
-Mayhem and traffic jams now ensue partly because the French actually dont push or rush each other to please stand aside. They are perfectly content just waiting and standing close to each other for a few extra minutes. Everyone crunched up in the aisle just stops and continues with their small talk, politics, salle de bain, sejour, blah blah while whats his name Frenchie at the front of the herd ponders the intricacies of the STRATA PAX Collection.

-Wading through people and actually wondering if you physically pushed their child over if they would move to the side and let you pass

-Getting lost in the health and safety section then spending 20 minutes trying to decide if I wanted the bright yellow or blinding orange safety vest. Purpose for vest still unknown. I dont own a car and am not really sure busting this thing out on the Metro perhaps during a strike would be appropriate. Could be cute if bedazzled. Could be funny with friends at my place over wine and me deciding to "change into something more comfortable."
-Me buying not 1, but yes 2 safety vests.

-"Expo" does not mean the item is for sale. It essentially means "dont touch the display."
-Being explained what "Expo" means by the cashier as he removes half your loot from the cart and places it aside so it can be put back.

-In French, it's pronounced EE-KEY-AH

Im still pronounced Deeahhne and that was my experience at France's superstore.
All in all I got way too excited and distracted to even buy anything I really needed. Thats not to say I still didnt rack up a 400Euro bill, but hey it's IKEA and those vests are gonna come in handy at some point. Im sure of it.

January 19, 2008

fingers crossed!

its been a while. And to be honest, I hesitate to write just for the sake of writing. I have to be inspired. I need to want to share.
Lots going on lately. Need to find a new apartment as my lease to my beauteous current appartment is up Feb 1. As we all know, moving is one of the most stressful things one can endure. Now multiply that by not speaking french, a totally compacted market for une appartemente, and fine... being a picky bitch. Although at this point, ill settle for anything that i can get my hands on. I HAVE to move. But it's not easy.
The SF me was courageous and strong and could accomplish any number of tasks, errands, and to-do's at a drop of a hat. Frankly, I'm the most organized person I know. But in Paris, I have to ask Benoit and Olivier ( my team) to call apartments for me, print maps for me and take my calls. I ve basically turned them into assistants and i cant stand it. I feel sooo bad. On the other hand, my ego speaks in volumes and I naturally assume they like this role. haha:)who wouldnt right?
Anyway, keep your fingers crossed for me people, I need all the luck I can get!

In other news, my bff steven is in town this week. Our days have played out like this; wake up. 2-3 nescafes each. we share a breakfast consisting of apples, cheese and varied baguettes. Then we shower (yes, separately!) and head out for the days research and extravaganza. We shop, we eat, we break for cocktails and totally exhaust ourselves. Then we head back home, rest, drink wine, make a cheese board with accoutrements, then prep to head back out for dinner and more research. .. and fernets.
I love my friends.
Its so like home having him here. We watch the same, we talk the same, we gab the same and no one is safe from our banter. aaaaaahhhhhhhhh. its all the same.

So as I write, steven has just returned from the monoprix-and its difficult to write over the yelps of his excitement and his new finds and purchases, "Look new Nescafe espresso! have you ever had this kind?"
I love him.
Obviously I have to go now and hear about his tales. Those of you that know him know he is pretty difficult to ignore and theres just no rest for the wicked.
Tonite we head to Bar Hemingway to see our bartender friend Colin (lets hope he doesnt remember me!ha) and drop off a bottle of absynthe courtesy of our friend Duggan from SF.

more to come...
wish us luck!
xoxoxoxox

January 2, 2008

Bonne Annee, Ne pas Fumer

Merde!
Welcome to January 2. The no smoking ban is officially in place- the streets are crowded with angry protestors, cafes are empty and merchants are striking all over town... its complete mayhem!

No this is not the case, but I wish it was. Its business as usal so far.

Not smoking indoors is actually the norm for me, but since living in Paris its been like a little gift from the devil to be able to light up inside. Anytime, anywhere you could puff away to your hearts desire. And believe it or not, I have found 2 things out with this now past entitlement: 1, I actually smoke less and 2, I have become more social due to the fact I dont need to leave my companions every 20 minutes or so for a fix.

But with this new year comes new meaningful resolutions. I hesitate to even write this because as we all know you can only be ready when you are ready, but please note January 26 2008 marks the circle on my calendar to officially quit smoking. Yes thats right folks, its there pen to paper er rather, hand to AZERTY(which is giving me a headache today, btw) but you heard it here first. And No im not quitting due to the ban. Im quitting because Im tired of hearing my doctor whine about it. She is like a broken record relentlessly filling me with facts such as "smoking is not good for you."So on my parents anniversary this year I will quit.

I will also learn French.

I will also start Exercising.

Believe it or not, its actually the last resolution here that I am most fearful. God I hate exercising. I remember a time, lets call it high school and the years prior, that I recall generally loving sports and being fit. Although for me, it was never about the fit part really. I was naturally thin and quite tall and had a metabolism of a bullet. Alas, now that Im 30 for the second year in a row, you really start to notice shit dont burn off the way it used to, know what Im sayin???

Now im not gonna go crazy about this, so No you wont see me at the gym (I will remain germ-free for the rest of my life, thank you! you know the diseases they pull out of places like that? Did you know that gym is derived from the word germ?) I will perhaps take some walks and even put on the running shoes I bought 4 years ago when I dated a guy who was athletic. They are in tip top condition- worn twice! I am even going to buy some sort of athletic gear outfit, although I am not sure what to do about this. Victoria Beckham says she doesnt go to the gym because she doesnt know what to wear. Precisely my point!! What does one wear to perform even a non-gym workout? And should I be calling it a performance? Should I do yoga or pilates or both or neither? I cant do the birkram "hot" yoga thing for obvious reasons, so what else is there? I need a regimen...

My elbows and forearms are in top form obviously, as are my index and middle fingers as well as my opposing thumbs. Drink count is down, well, as of new years day anyway, and I am hopeful for the future! Will you keep ya posted!!

Bonne Annee friends!!!