Its been a while. I needed to get out of the house. Here's the problem. Its safe in there. Im not agoraphobic or anything, but when I leave the house, I tend to drink more. Et voila, here I am at The Ren...drinking. Standard. Cote du Rhone. Waiting for a friend to come over for a dinner and dish sesh.
In the meantime, heres the latest. The man, the "Marseilles move-in" has now moved out. Er rather, has been asked to leave. Shocked? Probably not. Did anyone make wagers on my fast and furious attempt at domesticating? You should have. It was a long shot, but I thought I had good odds. Anyway, basically it just wasnt working. Between his ocd jealousy and my crazi, I mean me-ness, it just didnt work out.
Still friends I think. I hope. But not sure. I mean you never want to have to say, lets still be friends, but I think really we will. That said, I offered him the casual romp and dinner tryst, so we'll see what happens. However, I dont know how one will take the offer of sex as you are being urged out the door with duffel bags and toiletries hanging off your limbs. But Im still attracted to him, and I meant it, so I said it.
I know I know, "Oh Diane" is actually what I thought too. Its nice to know at least some things never change. So its back to me. Square one and loving it.
April 21, 2009
Invincible
Lets go back to early February 2009 when I orginally wrote this post.
Im trying to drink less. Its better for me I know, but why does everything good have to be so bad? Ive noticed a trend in my writing here as Im sure you guys have too, that drinking seems to be this American's favorite pastime. True nuf. But when in Paris, do as the Parisians do. They love their cafe, but really how many cups can one have? Newly unemployed and on the market, isnt wine simply a wiser option? I mean lets face it. When you dont have to set an alarm, because your only task for the day is to eventually wake up and check facebook... Im all in. Lets go drink!
But alas, this is not so good for me.
And really more than anything else, I believe that alcohol is the gateway drug we should all be so wary of. What to do when drinking a nice wine, or a spritzy cocktail or ice cold beer? Smoke a ciggy of course. And its all downhill form there. Once youre drinking and smoking, whats to stop you? Youre invincible. But lets be clear. Im not talking standing on the ledge of a 40 story building on PCP invincible, but rather you just generally feel happier than everyone else. And your question here, inevitably, "Are you masking unhappiness in your life with a bottle and a box?" Perhaps. But at least, Im aware of it. And I can still read my writing on the page so thats good. And No, Im not staggering down the street like a hobo in heat. I look pretty and im dressed well. I just happen to be inebriated, so what? Defensive? No no. Just explaining. Thats what us writers do, explain. Tell stories. Enlighten even.
Im trying to drink less. Its better for me I know, but why does everything good have to be so bad? Ive noticed a trend in my writing here as Im sure you guys have too, that drinking seems to be this American's favorite pastime. True nuf. But when in Paris, do as the Parisians do. They love their cafe, but really how many cups can one have? Newly unemployed and on the market, isnt wine simply a wiser option? I mean lets face it. When you dont have to set an alarm, because your only task for the day is to eventually wake up and check facebook... Im all in. Lets go drink!
But alas, this is not so good for me.
And really more than anything else, I believe that alcohol is the gateway drug we should all be so wary of. What to do when drinking a nice wine, or a spritzy cocktail or ice cold beer? Smoke a ciggy of course. And its all downhill form there. Once youre drinking and smoking, whats to stop you? Youre invincible. But lets be clear. Im not talking standing on the ledge of a 40 story building on PCP invincible, but rather you just generally feel happier than everyone else. And your question here, inevitably, "Are you masking unhappiness in your life with a bottle and a box?" Perhaps. But at least, Im aware of it. And I can still read my writing on the page so thats good. And No, Im not staggering down the street like a hobo in heat. I look pretty and im dressed well. I just happen to be inebriated, so what? Defensive? No no. Just explaining. Thats what us writers do, explain. Tell stories. Enlighten even.
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