Cold, Smold!
The cold has never been an issue for me. I am quite warm, if not hot, 90% of the time. Part of me thinks this is why people tend to gravitate toward me. Im a warm body to stand next to. And actually now that I think about it perhaps this is why the french tend to knock into me all the time on the street. What?
Those of you that have been to Paris know that even when there is plenty of room to avoid contact on the street, the french will walk directly into you. I still dont understand this. But over these last few months I have become one of them.
Lets talk Metro for a minute. See French Run. See French Sprint. See french bags flailing everywhere, old ladies kicked to the curb and french babies held tightly like little rugby balls, because the French, uh hem, we, have got a train to catch!
Seemingly, all this hurry nonsense is for good reason. I dont quite know how to describe the feeling you get when you make a perfect train connection. I think its comparable to winning a Pulitzer or a Nobel Peace Prize. Its fantastic! For example, I take 2 trains to get to work everyday. The 9 ligne and the 3 ligne. I now know the rate of pace I need to keep and how many people I need to physically hurdle in order to make my connection. The doors even open while the train is still in motion so if you are looking for a competitive advantage its there for the taking! None of this complete stop bullshit. Every second counts, and when it works it works; Its magic.The first time I conquered the feat of exact train connection I really felt like a Professional in Paris. (This was actually the second time I had this feeling as the first time was at a Bar in Republique, but thats another story all together.)
The most fascinating part of the Metro game though are the consequences under which we are playing. IF you do not make your train in Pulitzer Prize fashion, then guess what? Are you sitting down? You will be subjected to a 2 minute wait! Im not kidding! 2 whole minutes. And while the Paris Metro is remarkably prompt (when not on strike that is) its still arguably the best transit system in the world. I know the Brits will argue this point for their "test tube" but this is my french blog so phepht!
Anyway, 2 minutes is the high stakes wager here. And in the grand scheme of things, 2 minutes amounts to tying a shoelace, answering a short text or reaching into your purse to find a lighter.
I think what this boils down to are the differences of culture in dynamics and proxemics I see and feel everyday here. I mean I see people running all the time. No offense but the only people running for anything in the states, are generally the Asians trying to get across the street. And to take this point further, if I saw someone running in the Metro or on the street even, I would naturally assume that person stole something and they were running away from the scene of the crime or the cops. Because why else would you RUN?
Moreover, are you wearing sensible enough shoes that allow you to run? I'd hope not because here in france we like to dress classy! To Monoprix, the frommagerie, the boulangerie, you name it- chicks here wear good shoes. And good shoes they may be, but alas even in France you walk that walk on the cobblestone (if you dare) and you run that race in the Metro.
Ce la vie.
Ive digressed so many times in this entry that I forgot my point, but I think it had to do with cultural something or other. Oh! I know. Me being hot all the time. Perhaps I start a new entry for that one. This one needs to end here as Ive got a train to catch! au revoir mon cheries!!!
December 14, 2007
December 5, 2007
An Inconvenient Truth
Women should not wear heels in Paris. Period.
The cobblestone streets, I'm convinced, were implemented by French Males in order to control the Female population. Only the strong survive and the weak will be eliminated on the spot; Feragamo, Choo, Manolo and all the rest. It is practically impossible to catwalk down these corridors without twisting an ankle or budging a heel.
Fortunately, yours truly belongs to the coveted Donatella society and could easily sleep in her heels should the situation ever be called for. And it has! I'm a Professional. I take my swing and swagger seriously and if you cant walk that walk, what's the point? Sadly, the truth here is that unless you have a death wish, you should not walk these cursed halls I now know as cobblestone streets.
Rue de Breaky, Boulevard le Twist, Avenue Embarrassing Memoir...Sure these paths are amongst the most quaint and inviting Paris has to offer, and it always seems like a good idea to take the road less traveled, or even journey down "the cute way," but I'm here to tell you ladies, and Sean Crowley, this Ducca don't work on those rocks, oooookkk?
Go wedge, or go home. Trust me.
The cobblestone streets, I'm convinced, were implemented by French Males in order to control the Female population. Only the strong survive and the weak will be eliminated on the spot; Feragamo, Choo, Manolo and all the rest. It is practically impossible to catwalk down these corridors without twisting an ankle or budging a heel.
Fortunately, yours truly belongs to the coveted Donatella society and could easily sleep in her heels should the situation ever be called for. And it has! I'm a Professional. I take my swing and swagger seriously and if you cant walk that walk, what's the point? Sadly, the truth here is that unless you have a death wish, you should not walk these cursed halls I now know as cobblestone streets.
Rue de Breaky, Boulevard le Twist, Avenue Embarrassing Memoir...Sure these paths are amongst the most quaint and inviting Paris has to offer, and it always seems like a good idea to take the road less traveled, or even journey down "the cute way," but I'm here to tell you ladies, and Sean Crowley, this Ducca don't work on those rocks, oooookkk?
Go wedge, or go home. Trust me.
December 2, 2007
I QWIT
AZERTY. QWERTY. Nothing is easy around here.
For those of you that are unfamiliar with AZERTY and QWERTY, these are two examples of the names given to the keyboards that accompany the different languages of the world. Most of the civilized, and uncivilized population as well, uses QWERTY. It is the standard default keyboard, much like English is the standard default language of the world.
The 6 keys are found on the top row from left to right of the keyboard.
AZERTY is the French variaation. And there are a few others for Chinese, German etc...
The major difference to contend with here is that the Q and A are switched. The other is that M is moved to the second row. But these changes are very manageable and not that big of a deal.
The real issue here is the punctuation factor.
For example, The [.] is located in 2 different places, but only one of them is the real period, and you have to press shift to get to it. You have to press shift to get to all the numbers. You have to press alt+ctrl to get to the 3rd layer of punctuation that lies on the number keys. This layer includes punctuation such as the apostrophe, quote marks and the various versions of the accented [a] that the French use in nearly every word.
So now while I work away in Levallois-Perret, I use the hunt and peck method via AZERTY for all forms of outgoing communication. At home, I use QWERTY.
I feel like I'm 4 years old again. Combined with my downward spiral of what used to be proper English, and now this infantile typing method, I'm pretty sure France has dumbed me down by extraordinary meeasures. It used to be difficult for me to remember what I had for breakast the day before. Now I can't even find a comma to break up my thoughts.
------------------------------
"Deeahnne, is not so difficult, you'll get it. It's just few letters," says Benoit.
"Oooh la la, Ben! You say everything is so simple because it's the way the French do it. Ce la vie, you say. But it is not always so easy."
"Easy?"
"Nevermind."
------------------------------
The first day of AZERTY use ended with me and a large headache, dreaming of a cocktail and excited to get home and onto my QWERTY so I could tell you all about this traumatic experience. I once considered myself a writer, to some degree at least. Now I am more of punctuation nazi whose mild OCD (obsessive compulsve disorder) makes it near impossible to move on to a new sentence knowing that I left a [:] to end a sentence simply because I didnt want to be bothered to use shift.
It's possible I Strike. Two can play at this game. The French take away my public transportation, I take back my right to QWERTY in the workplace. I mean, its bad enough the American dollar is in the toilet, but do you have to take away my keyboard too:
For those of you that are unfamiliar with AZERTY and QWERTY, these are two examples of the names given to the keyboards that accompany the different languages of the world. Most of the civilized, and uncivilized population as well, uses QWERTY. It is the standard default keyboard, much like English is the standard default language of the world.
The 6 keys are found on the top row from left to right of the keyboard.
AZERTY is the French variaation. And there are a few others for Chinese, German etc...
The major difference to contend with here is that the Q and A are switched. The other is that M is moved to the second row. But these changes are very manageable and not that big of a deal.
The real issue here is the punctuation factor.
For example, The [.] is located in 2 different places, but only one of them is the real period, and you have to press shift to get to it. You have to press shift to get to all the numbers. You have to press alt+ctrl to get to the 3rd layer of punctuation that lies on the number keys. This layer includes punctuation such as the apostrophe, quote marks and the various versions of the accented [a] that the French use in nearly every word.
So now while I work away in Levallois-Perret, I use the hunt and peck method via AZERTY for all forms of outgoing communication. At home, I use QWERTY.
I feel like I'm 4 years old again. Combined with my downward spiral of what used to be proper English, and now this infantile typing method, I'm pretty sure France has dumbed me down by extraordinary meeasures. It used to be difficult for me to remember what I had for breakast the day before. Now I can't even find a comma to break up my thoughts.
------------------------------
"Deeahnne, is not so difficult, you'll get it. It's just few letters," says Benoit.
"Oooh la la, Ben! You say everything is so simple because it's the way the French do it. Ce la vie, you say. But it is not always so easy."
"Easy?"
"Nevermind."
------------------------------
The first day of AZERTY use ended with me and a large headache, dreaming of a cocktail and excited to get home and onto my QWERTY so I could tell you all about this traumatic experience. I once considered myself a writer, to some degree at least. Now I am more of punctuation nazi whose mild OCD (obsessive compulsve disorder) makes it near impossible to move on to a new sentence knowing that I left a [:] to end a sentence simply because I didnt want to be bothered to use shift.
It's possible I Strike. Two can play at this game. The French take away my public transportation, I take back my right to QWERTY in the workplace. I mean, its bad enough the American dollar is in the toilet, but do you have to take away my keyboard too:
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